SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — In a soon-to-be-published new edition, Merriam-Webster’s dictionary has listed an additional definition for the term “haystacks.”
In addition to it being the plural form of a word to describe a pile of hay, the editors of the volume added a definition which defines the word as “Adventist crack.”
The explanation for the new definition describes haystacks as “a highly addictive dish which routinely gathers Seventh-day Adventists of all ages to gorge on chips, salsa, cheese, assorted vegetables, sour cream, guacamole and so much more.”
Merriam-Webster’s went on to say that within the Adventist community, the dish was as habit forming as any back-alley drug.
The expanded definition that boasted near-encyclopedic detail explains that Adventists eat the dish with tremendous consistency at home, at church, at their schools and even while camping.
“Haystacks consumption is an all-pervasive custom that has filtered through to every part of Adventist living,” says the dictionary entry, “literally no aspect of Adventism has escaped its crunchy goodness.”