SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference ordination experts wiped away tears of joy and relief at the “sensible, male direction” that the United States is now heading after examining a recent Oval Office photo.
The picture of Trump ploughing ahead with his agenda while an all-male cast of graying men somberly watch was heralded as “inspired” and “a template for all future high-profile GC policy enforcement photography.”
Manny Manly, a senior ordination expert, adjusted his standard-issue blinders before uttering a word of caution to his colleagues.
“Like Trump winning the presidency, we won a major victory in keeping ordination all-male,” said Manly.
“But just like those annoying protestors marching the streets right now, we’ve got far too many members that actually believe that men and women were created equally.”
Redirecting his gaze to “the triumph of photography that is Trump’s exec order shot,” Manly encouraged all assembled not to tire in doing good as they dedicated their efforts to keeping half of the Adventist world out of ordained ministry.