SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church has forbidden members from getting patriotic finger nails for the Fourth of July.
Dre Reei, the GC Director of Gloom reminded members that painting their nails red white and blue still counted as vain adornment on America’s birthday.
He encouraged American Adventists to express their patriotism in different ways.
“Nothing is more patriotic than waving sparklers and singing your heart out to This Little Light of Mine,” said Reii.
“You can also cast temperance aside and go crazy on some veggie burgers or binge on Little Debbie snack cakes,” he added.
“But if you come to church with starred and striped nails next Sabbath we’ll march you straight to the fellowship hall with a bottle of acetone.”