SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an eleventh-hour move that has racked up an astronomical printing bill, the General Conference Executive Committee of the Adventist Church has added itself to the 2016 US presidential ballot.
GC Director or World Domination, Max Arthuritus said that while putting an extended committee on the US presidential ballot was somewhat unprecedented, winning the election would “be great leverage come Annual Council 2017.”
All Adventists that are not currently busy either watching Hacksaw Ridge or handing out material to moviegoers that have just seen the film, are urged to join a door-to-door awareness blitz to explain the exact nature of the GC Executive Committee to the voting public and beg for votes.
Arthuritus admitted that some might find the last-minute bid for most powerful office on the planet “somewhat of an illegal longshot,” but quickly added that there was no harm shooting for the stars on this one.
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Do we vote for the Ex Com as a whole or the individual members? I need this info by tomorrow AM when I go to the polls. As a loyal, true blue, red blooded SDA, tithe paying, health nut, member in good & regular standing, supporter of SDA businesses (Little Debbie), I want to support my church-sink or swim! I see the iceberg ahead & it ain’t good. Woe iz me!!
TRUMP GOT MY VOTE!