DEADLINE, Calif. — A frazzled Adventist church choir director has spent the last two weeks imploring members of his congregation to join the Christmas cantata choir.
Although he had initially held very high standards for potential choir members, Quese Canten is now admitting anyone with a halfway reliable pulse.
Canten has entirely discarded with the auditioning process and has practically been dragging unsuspecting church members to choir practice.
“We need you even if you can’t carry a tune to save your life,” said Canten in a desperate midnight Facebook post on his church’s page, “if you can lip sync, we can arrange for the appropriate sound tracks to make things look legit.”
Canten is pushing for the declaration of a congregation-wide state of emergency to help grow his fledgling choir. Full of regret for having let himself be suckered into the position of choir director, Canten is begging his senior pastor to threaten to cancel potluck for a year unless more souls come forward to sing.