BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — A lifelong Adventist who moved to Berrien Springs years ago has refused to transfer his membership to a local church.
Instead, Jack Jumpur has opted to church hop every week in order to retain visitor status for potluck purposes.
“Any self-respecting Adventist church knows that you have to let visitors get first dibs on potluck,” said Jumpur while scanning his list of 30+ Andrews University area churches and their potluck ratings.
“If you visit a different church every week nobody catches on and they put you first in line for the Special K casseroles.”
Jumpur admitted that a few highlighted church names on his list were risky options as they had “particularly good potlucks that I hit up a little too much.”
He said that there was a good chance that if he turned up at the Korean church for the third time this month he might have to wait to have his table announced like everyone else.
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Brother Jack-If you come to the pot luck at my church–visitor or not, you will have to battle for first place with a bunch of vey hungry kids. Kids rule!!
Make sure you bring your antacid pills wherever you go!
PLEASE LET CHIK FIL A SPONSOR THE POT LUCK. LOVE THAT CHICK FIL A.
Well, now that you’ve blown his cover, the jig is up for Mr. Jumpur!