ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist deacons have received the ultimate weapon to combat napping in church: Super Soakers.
Shipments of the high-power water guns arrived at Adventist churches worldwide with specific usage instructions.
Anyone that appears to have their eyes closed in anything but prayer in Sabbath School or the main service will receive a powerful blast of water to the face.
“We encourage our deacons to do extensive target practice before using the Super Soakers on Sabbath morning,” said GC Church Discipline spokesperson, Jus Drenchm, “You want to make sure that you don’t accidentally soak someone sitting next to the sleeping party.”
Deacons were told to get as close as possible to the snoozing member before firing.
“There’s something very distracting about a powerful jet of water shooting across the entire width of the sanctuary right in the middle of a sermon,” said Drenchm, “It’s far better to creep into position so you are in the pew directly next to the slumbering saint before you deliver a second baptism.”