Bahamas — Faithful to Biblical guidance to leave their teary-eyed parents the minute their wedding cake was cut, Adventist honeymooners Cass and Sado Porfin made a beeline for their Bahamian beach resort and were reportedly holed up in the hotel business center for the first 72 hours.
“We’ve never seen as little of guests as we have of those two,” said the hotel manager when contacted by frantic family members who had not received promised “safe arrival” confirmation texts from either of the two young Adventists.
Members of the hotel catering staff confessed to being confused by the Porfins who ordered exclusively vegetarian room service to the business center while poring over SDA Bible Commentaries and agonizing over the exact meaning of the word “cleaving.”
At the beginning of the fourth day hotel staff were shocked to see the Porfins emerge from the business center yelling loud “Amens” and “Hallelujahs” and testifying to having discovered “precious truth” as they headed straight for their suite.
Later that day a sign was spotted on their door: “Do NOT disturb – CLEAVING”
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Indeed, most people, both churched and unchurched, don’t understand the word “cleaving”. It is actually a composite derived from “copulation” and “leaving”.
And the “precious truth” the Porfins discovered didn’t require any help from SOP, I’m sure, since SOP would be a rather dim “lesser light” in this case. Hallelujah, the freedom that comes from not having a dependence on SOP.
I have been cleaving for many years, now. I cleave to Little Debbie. So cleave me alone!!