WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Fifth-generation Adventist Seiflee Abborhd was rushed to the emergency room of Providence St. Mary Medical Center this morning, suffering from a potentially life threatening swelling of his head.
Abborhd who had severely alarmed friends, neighbors and perfect strangers with his big head, was brought in on a stretcher, his cranium barely squeezing through the extra-wide ER automatic doors.
As medical personnel scurried around trying to treat him, Abborhd was asked some questions by an ER physician. Abborhd ignored the doctor’s questions and immediately launched into a fiery lecture about the joys of being “glory bound” as part of the “Remnant within the Remnant.”
Abborhd offered his Catholic physician a tract chronicling the failures of Rome while simultaneously checking the doctor’s wrist and forehead for any obvious “666” markings.
Quickly diagnosing his patient with arrogant remnant syndrome, the ER doc prescribed an extra strong dose of self-awareness as well as humility steroids. He warned Abborhd not to do any talking for the duration of his recovery.