SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist Church has assembled an international taskforce aimed at identifying and silencing the worst singers in the denomination. The group will create a No Sing List which will contain names of members banned from “blessing” congregations with special music again.
“There’s a strange phenomenon where often our very worst singers are completely oblivious to how bad they are and continue to volunteer for special music,” said GC Director of Tactful Muzzling, Silen Cio.
She said that the No Sing List can be explained as nothing personal. “Just say that the General Conference has decided that they can’t sing as a matter of health and safety. Or if that doesn’t work, ask them if they’ll consider mime.”
Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists who want to change that status wanted.
These so called poor singers can lip sync. It takes a lot of practice. Nobody will know the difference. Thank You GC for this insight. What’s next? Lousy cooks at the pot lucks? I’ll be looking this Sabbath for the no sing list. Maybe I’m on it! Woe iz me!!
They’ll hand you a pink slip in the bulletin:)
lol. Where I am attending, ‘special music’ by a visitor is rare, like 1 or 2 times a year, maybe. They do congregational singing, ‘to learn new hymns’.
Since my Dad could not hit three notes in a row on key, I developed an entire theology for off-key singers:
The organ needs to be loud enough so that most people in the church do not notice who is off key during congregational singing. Everyone should be encouraged to sing, even if they can not. With a little help from the Holy Spirit, God hears us all singing on key.
Or maybe we could just stick to our spiritual gifts
How often have I heard “It’s not me. It’s God” as a humble statement before a special item. Sometimes after that I realise God doesn’t sing all that well!
Perhaps he needed to keep his choir master on a little longer to get better in tune with a few more singing lessons!
It’s true. Barely Adventist proves it over and over again. There is no limit to stupidity!
Dear BeverlyhillsAdventists – what is your opinion on the new Sia song ‘Footprints’ – it seems to be about the Jesus poem – is it acceptable to sing in a church?
I have been a SDA for over 50 years. But this kind of unkind, hurtful behavior would turn me against that church and its members for good. Is the singing for the Lord or the congregation?? It doesn’t have to be perfect for God. I have heard it all, now!!!!! Get rid of this “committee” before you have no church members!!!!!!
It is satire Pat ….. Not the real deal so to speak! Laugh a little and lower your BP s bit!
NOT RIGHT TO CALL IT “SPECIAL MUSIC”, MOST OF THE TIME IT IS “REGULAR AND COMMON”