LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A team of Seventh-day Adventist researchers from the church’s Geoscience Research Institute has discovered what they say is “conclusive evidence that Adam and Eve ate haystacks in the Garden of Eden.”
The findings come out of a five-year interdisciplinary study of what GRI spokesperson Sal Saah described as “culinary clues in ancient manuscripts of the Genesis account, as well as carbon-dated ancient eating instruments from where the Tigris and Euphrates rivers run into the sea in modern-day Iraq—the suspected site of Eden.”
The most compelling piece of evidence was the discovery of nearby 6,000-year old cave paintings of a beautiful couple sharing a dairy-free version of what we now call ‘haystacks’ under the shade of a fruit tree, said Saah.
Saah was careful to point out that his team was in no way suggesting that Adam and Eve had access to Fritos in the Garden of Eden. “We’ve gone around and around on the chips issue and we are almost 100% sure that the cave paintings are depicting sun-dried veggie chips that were every bit as good as modern day Fritos.”
Saah said that the findings show that every time haystacks are enjoyed today, we are “enjoying a taste of Eden.”
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