COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — In additions to fines for illegal parking, returning books late and falsely setting off fire alarms, Walla Walla University students will be treated to a fine for a brand new offense this year: attending vespers without a date.
“Walla Walla students will be required to check in at least 10 minutes before the start of our vespers programs with a date in tow,” said Student Life representative Wendy Barstow. “No exceptions will be made.”
Barstow added that this year vespers attendance will be mandatory. “So there’s no getting out of a Friday night date simply by being a no-show at vespers.”
Walla Walla President Dr. John McVay hailed the new requirement as “an opportunity for spiritual and romantic growth” for students.
The accounts of student offenders will be charged $10 per date-less vespers program providing a generous boost to fine-related university revenue. Financial Services representative Chet Davis said the new fine was a “game changer” that would significantly strengthen university finances. “We can’t be expected to operate while only charging students $35,000 a year.”
Why are Adventists not allowed to have sex standing up? It looks too much like dancing.
What a spoof! Reminds us of the ruckus about Doug Batchelor being on DANCING WITH THE STARS! But SOMEONE may fall for this.
What a great idea!! Isn’t that the main purpose of our SDA schools? By the way, what gender must the date be? Article does not say. I can bring him, her, my stuffed teddy bear, etc. Send me enrollment applications ASAP! Woe is me!!
Barley Adventist is a disgrace and hindrence to God’s work in these last days
So what about barely adventist?
At least it’s a vegetarian site (barley). Here’s a thought for you…treat Barely Adventist like you do X-rated movies – don’t look at the site. That way you won’t be offended. This site helps the rest of us to remember that we actually have to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, and not simply follow a bunch of seemingly silly rules.
Maybe I can use this article to finely get myself a vesper date!