COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Junior Theology major Nedlan Flanners was seen earlier today somberly marching in circles around an utterly confused girl on the campus of Southern Adventist University.
Although he had never spoken to Ella Thatcher, Flanners explained to reporters that he had gained inspiration from his morning devotions to march around his crush seven times before “letting out a mighty cry and hoping for the best.”
Flanners had shared his “Jericho Strategy” plans with some of his Old Testament Studies classmates earlier today.
He told friends he was confident that his plan would result in Thatcher “letting down her defenses” and perhaps even agreeing to a library date.
Thatcher was last seen dropping all her books before sprinting across campus.