Takeaway From Distracted Evangelistic Campaign Attendee: Miller Lites Were Greatly Disappointing In 1844

Image credit: MobiusDaXter – File:Kenworth United Beverage HTS-30D pic5.jpg

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Interviewed immediately after attending an Adventist online evangelistic campaign from his living room, local multitasker Kent Brauser admitted he “had no idea Miller Lites had been so disappointing back in 1844.”

Brauser who boasted he’d successfully paid several bills, demolished a bag of nachos and caught up on the news during the Adventist evangelistic broadcast, said he was grateful for the chance the Adventist programming gave him to “brush up on beer trivia and hear music back from before America was a country.”

The Inland Empire resident said he empathized with the 19th century Americans and others who had to suffer through a time of such terrible recreational beverage options.

Brauser placed the blame squarely on some guy called William Miller, saying he had learned Miller had gotten his wires crossed on an important formula.

“The rest is history,” said Brauser with a sage smile.


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  1. Marcy

    This is of course exaggerated, but as a pastor I can identify with the fact that even when we have in person meetings most of what I am trying to get across goes right over peoples heads. Most have no idea what I am talking about. I have to use visual aids, even for the adults.
    We live in an age of social media and big screen TV, not to mention that Adventists have no idea who Seventh-day Adventists are.

  2. Richard Mills

    how&where do youse guys come up with this stuff? SDA’s usually don’t drink gthe real beer. They drink that knock-off stuff that is 1/2% of 1% alcohol. some call it “near” beer. Spanish & eastern European SDA’s love this stuff. They even bring it to church for the pot luck. Now I know why I am always dizzy after those pot lucks!!

    1. Marcy

      So much for Adventist pot lucks, I quit going to them years ago. If there was anything there that I could eat or drink with a clear conscience, besides the olives, I didn’t know it because the ingredients were not written on the dish.

  3. Richard Mills

    Marcy-all the food usually brought to SDA pot lucks are made from last weeks left overs. Sometimes there is an exception, but that is rarely the case. You can tell the taste. One family brings there own food each week. They want to know what what they are eating.

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