Smithsonian code breakers completely stumped by Adventist prophetic chart

Come again?
Come again?

WASHINGTON, D.C. — World-renowned cryptographers based at the Smithsonian Institution have admitted utter and complete defeat in deciphering an early Adventist prophetic chart.

The code breakers said that despite months of focused study and frequent nightmares of scary beasts with multiple heads chasing them, they were no closer to making sense of the jumble of numbers, timelines and dramatic drawings.

“The whole process of studying these 19th century prophetic charts has been really humbling,” said a statement from the Smithsonian scholars. “We are no closer to finding out what happened in 1844 or what’s going on with the horns on those monsters.”

In a last ditch effort to make progress with the charts, the cryptographers have signed up to attend a week-long Adventist Daniel and Revelation seminar. They are bringing their own coffee.

Advertise on BarelyAdventist


You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

Check out the Sonscreen Film Festival!

Share your Adventist faith & lifestyle through cool awesome t-shirts |


(Visited 886 times, 1 visits today)


  1. richeerich

    Those Smithsonian guys haft go to Andrews SDA Seminary for more clarification. Study a few Desmond Ford lectures. Jones & Wagner stuff. Froome materials. Dig deep into the QOD book of the 1950’s. No stumpin’ anybody at the AU Theology Dept. Been there-Done that!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *