WASHINGTON, D.C. — World-renowned cryptographers based at the Smithsonian Institution have admitted utter and complete defeat in deciphering an early Adventist prophetic chart.
The code breakers said that despite months of focused study and frequent nightmares of scary beasts with multiple heads chasing them, they were no closer to making sense of the jumble of numbers, timelines and dramatic drawings.
“The whole process of studying these 19th century prophetic charts has been really humbling,” said a statement from the Smithsonian scholars. “We are no closer to finding out what happened in 1844 or what’s going on with the horns on those monsters.”
In a last ditch effort to make progress with the charts, the cryptographers have signed up to attend a week-long Adventist Daniel and Revelation seminar. They are bringing their own coffee.