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Guess I gotta get rid of my cat.
Slide 6: “single man secretly enjoys being surrounded by charming young ladies.” This is definitely my problem. It’s hard to date any one girl, because so many others (real knockouts, mind you) are always flocking around me, all telling me that I look just like the guy in slide 7. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had to hire a bodyguard to fend off the gorgeous beauties. It’s a serious problem, and rather expensive for the bodyguards. I guess this is just the cross that I must bear. . . . You average-looking people just don’t know what it’s like.
Eric, you’re so dense. Yes, we thought you were sorta cute, but the reason we’re still around is not for you; it’s because of your bodyguard! Now he is to die for!
with a sense of humour like that, you won’t be single for long!!!! Nice one!
Hey my BFF and I once advertised for a date at the Lodi Academy reunion years ago in the PUC Campus Chronicle!! There’s more than one way to score–it worked. 35 years later and hitched… No excuses people. Be creative.
Milla, you surely were creative (and you still are)! But you’re lucky that I just happened to read the classifieds that day. (I didn’t normally read the Chronicle.) I shudder to think how your life would have turned out otherwise. Just kidding, sweetie. I am the lucky one! I can’t imagine life without you. So glad I picked up the paper that day. “Luck is not chance.” (Emily Dickinson) “There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.” (Shakespeare) “All things work together for good to those who love God.” (Romans 8:28)
Ok. Oh wow. Hey handsome. Do you remember The Miller’s Tale by Beowulf and The Importance of Being Earnest by Charles Dickens? Hey you still do it for me. Ok all you single people–I got my sweetie through a prank phone call. Try it. It works!
Wait a minute, Milla. First you said you got me through an ad in the Chronicle. And I admitted that was true. Now how can you turn around and say you got me through a prank phone call? Are you perhaps referring to a different “sweetie”? When I get home this evening, you have some explaining to do!
Slide 2: “Nothing kills a man’s game faster than when a woman realizes she’ll be under extra scrutiny from church members,” That includes a double-standard concerning dress and adornment. The pastor’s wife is expected to “set a higher standard.” All the other church ladies can wear their makeup, glittery brooches, diamond-studded solid-gold watches, and foot-tall hats, but poor “Sister Pastor” is expected to “dress like Sister White” (and yet manage to look pretty enough to represent the church as its beautiful “First Lady”). In reality, there’s no need to play games like “it’s OK if it doesn’t touch your skin” or “it’s OK if it’s functional,” because God likes jewelry. Young ladies, that is one aspect that need not pose a barrier to dating a theology major. (But you still need to brush up on your piano and organ skills, singing, cooking, baking, sewing, typing and word-processing, children’s ministries, multitasking, and P.R. skills, to name a few, while simultaneously raising 2.5 kids and holding down a job to make ends meet. You may also be required to alter the laws of nature and make 36 hours in each day. Feel free to wear a “SuperWoman” costume, which will be provided at a nominal cost.)
Hey, gimme the address of that church in picture #6. I want to join ASAP. I ready to begin all over again. The fountain of youth! Woe is me! Yes, WOE IS ME!!
Richard honey, how many times do I have to warn you? “Keep a level eye!” It’s waaaay to late to begin again. Just try it, and you’ll be in the doghouse for a year. Woe Unto Thee! Dorothy Mills