Single Adventist women rate available church males “great disappointment”

Sad state of affairs...
Sad state of affairs…

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — An international study of the views of single Adventist women on romantic relationships has revealed near unanimous agreement that the quality of available Adventist men is a “great disappointment.”

Regardless of their culture or nationality, Adventist women seemed to agree that the few Adventist men that are quality have already been snatched up.

“Male pickings are super slim at the ┬álocal church level,” said Andrews University researcher, Ena Morado. “The few single males that are around seem barely literate and incapable of pulling off a successful tie/shirt combo.”

Morado said that the unavailabity of up to snuff males has made the occasional appearance of a new attractive man at church “an earth-shattering event causing women to fight like Kellogg brothers for the chance to sit next to him at potluck.”

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  1. If I were single, young, looking for a mate & a relationship, I could not find it in the local church. Got to scout the college campuses, Florida hospital, Loma Linda, maybe the secretaries at the GC or maybe visit 3ABN. Seems like Danny was successful with numero 4. Hey, that knock on my head woke me up. I was in a beautiful dream!! Wife-go get me a plate of those delicious Little Debbies.

  2. Sam Clemons

    Women are from Venus, men are from Mars. It’s like cats and dogs. As a species, they are gold-diggers, snitches, gossips, critics, backstabbers, and schemers. Women just love to complain. All they want is money. They can never be satisfied.

    A successful man is one who earns more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who finds such a man.

  3. Larry

    Where are all those Adventist Women that can’t find a decent man? None of those women are anywhere within a 1000 miles of where I live. I’m 76 years old and still very active. I have a large sailboat and I also love to ski and travel. Those that are anywhere near my age, are afraid to even step on the dock or do anything adventuress or fun. But I also refuse to wear a tie any more, except to funerals. And I go to lots of them. They can’t expect to find a decent man hiding under a church pew, the decent guys are out enjoying live not being church elders or leading Sabbath School classes. Or giving those excruciating long prayer-sermons. They are out living where God resides, and that certainly not in church.

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