SILVER SPRING, Md. — Impressed by the success of the Mormon-run Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii and the Christian theme park The Holy Land Experience in Florida, Seventh-day Adventist leaders plan to open their own theme park, “The 28 Fun Belief-dom.”
“We want to put the ‘fun’ back into ‘Fundamental,'” said Henry Menchen, chairperson for the development committee.
Highlights will include:
- AGAPE FEAST FOOD COURT: Features food booths like the Bread of Life Sandwich Shoppe, Bananas 4 Manna and the Of Course It’s Unfermented Juice Bar. For the families that bring their own lunch, there will be the PSALM 23 PICNIC AREA: prepared tables (picnic benches) in green pastures (lawns) by still waters (a fountain.)
- APOLOGETICS: Participants are divided into two teams, given a particularly contentious topic (e.g. drums/no drums in church, Big Franks vs. Stripples, etc) and given free rein to argue as loudly as they like for 30 minutes.
- BALM IN GILEAD: This attraction trains people how to take blood pressure, do body mass indexes, give CPR and insert NEWSTART and CHIP tracts into people’s bags without them noticing.
- BIG BOOK: Participants see how long they can hold up a huge Bible with one hand.
- THE GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT: A state-of-the-art, 4-D motion-simulator ride (read: It’s like Star Tours at Disneyland) where people sit for 20 minutes in near darkness before the exit doors open.
- THE SECOND COMING: Another motion-simulator ride where riders experience 1 of 2 scenarios: earthquakes, rocks falling on their heads, with the room being plunged into devastating heat at the end; or a fast-paced, edge-of-your-seat thrill ride as people are swept up into the clouds and outer space.
- SM YEAR: Players race through a maze while completing tasks like “Butcher the Native Language” (those with the worst pronunciations get more points); “Instant Sermon” where participants must come up with a 10-minute talk on the spot (bonus points for including SDA jargon); and “Vespers Sneak-off”: Players with the most creative excuses for getting out of church activities win.
- STATE OF THE DEAD: A rest area, complete with cots, where people just sleep.
- VBS 365: Long tables filled with enough popsicle sticks, googly eyes and puff balls to make VBS crafts ALL. YEAR. ROUND.
With various committees, nominating committees for the those committees, vote-throughs and voting to have vote-throughs, Menchen said construction might start in 2025.
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