SILVER SPRING, Md. — A brand new oversight committee concerned exclusively with Sabbath wading, was announced in the General Conference auditorium this morning. Armed with bulky measuring sticks, committee members will be dispatched around the world to follow Adventist members that incorporate “wading” into their Sabbath afternoon nature walks. The oversight experts have been asked to record the exact depths of any body of water through which Adventists pass and report data back immediately to Silver Spring. If committee members see anyone “accidentally” trip and fall into the water they are to yank them out and hand them custom-made, waterproof yellow cards.