ADVENTIST WORLD — Raising hands in worship has always been taboo in Adventist circles.
The practice has now been elevated to the unenviable status of “Adventist unpardonable sin” by theologians at the GC’s Biblical Research Institute.
Hand raising narrowly beat out stealing the pastor’s parking spot and excessive pew whispering for the worst of Adventist sins.
The BRI team that studied the matter claimed that raising hands in worship would introduce an element of spontaneity into worship that would send congregants hurtling down a slippery slope of joyful compromise.
“Raising holy hands is the gateway drug to dancing before the Lord which, though technically biblical, simply is not Adventisty enough,” said the BRI statement.
Adventists have been instructed to say a loud amen whenever tempted to raise their hands during song service. If that does not work, the BRI advises members to firmly grip the pew ahead of them like their salvation depended upon it.
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If God were against the uplifted hands, He could speak with thunder and bolts of electricity.
“Lift up your hands to the holy place and bless the Lord!” (Psalm 134:2)
“I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands.” (1 Timothy 2:8)
“We lift up our heart and hands Toward God in heaven.” ( Lamentations 3:41)
“So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.” (Psalm 63:4)
What’s next? not kneeling for prayer? someone to check if our eyes are really closed during prayer? someone to check our voices to see if we are really singing the words to hymns, etc? BRI must have a lot of time on their “hands”. Let’s check to see who comes to pot luck. Who supports prayer meetings. I got a whole big list of things for BRI to look into. Give me a call. Let’s discuss this over a Starbucks vegan meal real soon.
In a nod to the FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation), the Biblical Research Institute recently changed its name to the SBI (Scriptural Bureau of Investigation). When their investigative skills really begin to excel, they will change their name to the KGB (Knavish Gestapo of the Bible).