ATHENS, Ga. — An Adventist pastor was dismissed from his post today after it was discovered that he had been faking his grasp of biblical Greek over the last several years.
Pastor Joe Phantasia had regaled his congregation at Agape Adventist Church with countless references to the “original Greek” in his sermons, often justifying controversial ideas of his in the process.
The beginning of the end came when he claimed that a close look at Paul’s writings to multiple churches supported the idea of “Theoria Pastoria Cuttinesis Potlukiasis Linea” which he claimed meant that he always got to go first in the potluck line.
Incredulous members sent the claim to New Testament Greek experts at Andrews University who wasted no time debunking the potluck theory as “entirely innocent of any scriptural basis or linguistic merit.”
Phantasia was sent packing with the parting gift of a Rosetta Stone Course in Beginner’s Greek.
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So long, Joe. When you start speaking plain English to us in the trenches, maybe we’ll understand what you talkin’ ’bout. As Yogi Berra once said,”It’s all Greek to me anyhoooooo!”