RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil — US Olympian Michael Phelps delighted the world with a death stare aimed at fellow olympian Chad Le Clos yesterday. Although the gold medalist’s expression was immediately dubbed #PhelpsFace on social media, Phelps was quick to give credit to his Death Stare Coach — President of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, Ted Wilson.
“#PhelpsFace would never have been perfected were it not for what I call TedFace,” said the grateful swimmer. Phelps said that he had spent hours receiving personal coaching from Wilson and had also analyzed hundreds of hours of Wilson’s sermon tapes to perfect his stark demeanor.
“Ted has the death stare down better than anyone in athletics,” said Phelps. “Whenever I need to get in the zone, I just put my headphones on and channel Ted.”
Phelps added that if looks could kill, entire congregations would be dead.