Gitmo prisoner refuses transfer to “oppressive” Bogenhofen, Adventist school in Austria

Bogenhofen... It doesn't get stricter than this...
Bogenhofen… It doesn’t get stricter than this…

GUANTANAMO BAY, Cuba – An unnamed Guantanamo Bay detainee offered relocation to an Adventist educational institution in Austria has refused the offer due to what he claims are “oppressive living conditions” at Bogenhofen Seminary.

In this most recent snag to President Barack Obama’s push to close the detention facility, the prisoner said that despite the beautiful pictures of the Austrian campus, he had heard far too much about the regimented discipline of Bogenhofen to take the school’s administrators up on their offer. He said he would rather take his chances waiting on something better to come up.

Bogenhofen, located in the Innviertel region of Upper Austria is widely known as one of the strictest schools in western Adventism. The prisoner said that although he looked forward to leaving Guantanamo Bay, he was looking for freedom and not another form of incarceration. He added that prolonged study of systematic theology wasn’t exactly on his bucket list, either.



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  1. Richard Mills

    Goodbye Gitmo-Hello, Flo/Co. I suggest that this unnamed prisoner be placed in that lovely camp sponsored by the Florida Conference, Camp Kulaqua. It has lots of amenities. Try it. You’ll like it! It has WiFi, HiFi, Hi Lo, but no J-Lo. As an option, Plan B, check out Camp Gitcie Goomie in the Everglades National Park. Lots of wildlife there. The crocs & gators make good company! Back to padded cell. Woe iz me

  2. Richard Mills

    What about 3 hots & a cot at that famous facility at Ossining, NY. We used to call it Sing/Sing. They have a history of well known citizens being taken care of there. Nice view of the Hudson. The rolling hills along the Hudson. Four seasons. A bird’s eye view of the new Tappan Zee bridge. On a clear day, you can see NYC. Quality food. Medical care (not Obama Care!!). Free clothes. What more do you want, Mr. Gitmo Detainee? You want the Trump Towers, maybe? Try it, you’ll like it!! Woe iz me.

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