SILVER SPRING, Md. — Annual Council started with a bang as the yearly church business meeting set a Guiness World Record on the first day.
Months of painstaking planning with CHIP-approved caterers paid off as Guiness officials took one look at the meeting’s innaugural brunch and unanimously decided to give the world record for “Biggest Vegetarian Sausage Fest” to the international gathering of denominational big wigs furiously devouring Linketts.
A thunderous chorus of “Amens” greeted news of the world record. Potbellied administrators chomped down on a final celebratory round of soy sausages, vowing not to leave Silver Spring without achieving the council’s objectives.
Leaders in the fight to maintain male supremacy in all things wiped tears of joy from their eyes, already knowing that their pilgrimmage to the General Conference had not been in vain.