GC’s Annual Council sets Guiness World Record for Biggest Vegetarian Sausage Fest


SILVER SPRING, Md. — Annual Council started with a bang as the yearly church business meeting set a Guiness World Record on the first day.

Months of painstaking planning with CHIP-approved caterers paid off as Guiness officials took one look at the meeting’s innaugural brunch and unanimously decided to give ┬áthe world record for “Biggest Vegetarian Sausage Fest” to the international gathering of denominational big wigs furiously devouring Linketts.

A thunderous chorus of “Amens” greeted news of the world record. Potbellied administrators chomped down on a final celebratory round of soy sausages, vowing not to leave Silver Spring without achieving the council’s objectives.

Leaders in the fight to maintain male supremacy in all things wiped tears of joy from their eyes, already knowing that their pilgrimmage to the General Conference had not been in vain.

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  1. Mello Dewrama

    Their “Lordship of the Links” theology is so much about “Big Franks” that it defies logic — just like their “Male headship” theology does of their need to be Franks (not Francines) in order to be ordained.

  2. Richard mills

    My inside sources at the GC tell me that a Little Debbie Fest will be held at the 2020 GC session I have already registered. The early low fee convinced me. All you can eat,too! Woe iz me!

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