SAN ANTONIO, Texas — Pandemonium erupted among the GC San Antonio booths in the Henry B Gonzalez Convention Center this morning as an enraged man with a whip attacked a series of exhibitor stations, overturning tables and setting giant stacks of canned veggie meat tumbling.
The man caused hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage as he took a leather whip and a crudely fashioned wooden staff to ornate table displays and professionally produced booth stands advertising colleges, hospitals and, somewhat ironically, the entire Adventist Risk Management area.
Stampeding crowds caused enough of a diversion for the man to wreak his tornado-like devastation on the booths before being subdued by an Oakwood University Ambassadors mascot and an elderly woman with a wooden spoon, upset about a large tamale dish the man had sent crashing.
As he was led away, many in the crowd found the man to bear an uncanny resemblance to a freshly-deposed church executive with what a source close to the situation called “a messiah complex.” Many onlookers commented that a leader’s truest test of character lies in how he responds to losing a reelection bid.
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