GC orders Adventist film festival to provide seating for guardian angels

This seat taken?
This seat taken?

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Just over a week away from the April 6-8 SONscreen film festival, General Conference overlords have ordered event organizers to provide seating for guardian angels.

The GC order has forced SONscreen logistics staff to scramble to find a venue large enough to host the Adventist film festival which is held at Loma Linda University this year.

“They could have thought of this earlier said,” said exasperated event organizer Hans Tayed.

“Doubling the amount of seating we need a week out from the event is bad etiquette, even for the GC.”

Scouring a hastily-compiled list of campus event spaces, a stressed out Tayed forced himself to find the silver lining to the bureaucratic cloud that had descended on the event.

“At least they haven’t cancelled SONscreen,” said Tayed.

“They sure aren’t above nixing movie projects in the eleventh hour.”

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  1. See No Evil

    Johnny: Daddy, why can’t we watch this movie at the cinema (instead of only at home on DVD)?

    Daddy: Because worldly people are at the cinema, so your guardian angel will have to wait outside.

    Johnny: Aren’t worldly people at the grocery store and Walmart, too?

    Daddy: Yeah, but the people at the cinema are really, really worldly.

    Johnny: How do you know?

    Daddy: Because they go to the cinema!

  2. Holly Woods

    It may be confusing to non-SDAs, but the new Adventist Movie Rating Association’s ratings for Christian films will be:

    G = Good
    PG = Pretty Godly
    R = Redemptive
    X = Excellent

    Just make sure it’s a Christian movie before you rely on the ratings!

    1. Chief Judge

      Time to hang up the black robe, Judge. You’re mind was “shot” a long time ago. Proof? You’ve been making weird public statements that you later have to take back with regret. You declared that you would move to New Zealand if a certain man is elected. But you didn’t move, after all. LOL.

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