BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Police officials declared Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson missing this morning.
The well-known Adventist evangelist was last seen playing Pokémon GO yesterday while navigating the grounds of Andrews University in a series of sprints and excited jumps, all performed with his eyes glued to his phone screen.
Office staff at the university-based church said that Nelson had taken an unusually early lunch break yesterday, mumbling something about urgent errands as he stumbled out of his office, tapping excitedly on his phone.
The sight of Nelson moving distractedly around Andrews did not intitally alarm others on campus. Eyewitnesses remarked that the pastor was behaving a lot like he normally does when he’s out of sermon illustrations.
PMC spokesperson Pollo de Samn asked local residents to keep an eye out for Nelson. He appealed to local Pokémon GO enthusiasts, asking them to do all they could to “bring this lost sheep back to the fold.”
“Dwight Spottings” are to be reported immediately to local authorities, said Samn. “Also, please confiscate his phone.”