WASHINGTON, D.C. — Dr. Anthony Stephen Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has deployed what he called “vegetarian compliance ninjas” to enforce mask usage across America.
Standing outside the front door of the General Conference building, Dr. Fauci said his trip to this less than exciting corner of Maryland was well worth it as the compliance crew he’d recruited at the Adventist headquarters could spot rule breakers a mile away and draft incredibly stern letters of rebuke.
Dr. Fauci said people spotted not wearing masks would first receive warnings in virtual Annual Council sessions and repeat offenders would be issued a word of “formal, Zoom-based reprimand.”
You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.