BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — In an unprecedented move by the General Conference and Andrews Theological University, a solution has been reached in the debate over women’s ordination. David Houston of the GC-based Biblical Research Institute announced that a completely new, gender-specific degree had been created. The Masters of Prophecy or M.Prop., is exclusively available to women and is aimed at placating their ordination ambitions while educating them in a traditional ministry role, following Ellen White’s prophetic mandate.
Billed as a female-appropriate alternative to the Masters of Divinity (M.Div.) the only non-gender-related requirement for successful candidacy into the M.Prop. program is that the candidate be married to a male pastor of strong theological standing. “In the Bible, most prophets were men, our only prophet so far was a female. We therefore do not deem it appropriate at this time to offer prophetic training to men,” said seminary spokesperson Torbjorn Nikason.
The new M.Prop. program is seen by church leaders worldwide as a groundbreaking step toward bridging what many see as a widening gap between anti-women’s ordination church leadership and pro-women’s ordination Adventist academia. Most other Adventist institutions offering the M.Div. have announced plans to follow suit, while La Sierra’s HMS Richards Divinity School has, unsurprisingly, refused to cooperate.
Critics have attacked the creation of the M.Prop. as an attempt to keep women in a marginalized role where they can be ignored. One opponent of the new program has suggested that M.Prop. actually stands for “Master’s Property.” However, the vast majority of mainstream church members agree that the new program will bring much needed uniformity. Southern has already reported strong interest among its female Theology students as well as scattered reports of visions.
Special thanks to Charles Snitch for the guest post
Could a transgendered person apply?
Wouldn’t that be Masters of Prophecy?
The grammar police concur with your spelling correction
There would be no need for this alleged new degree program if everybody would just read the facts at: https://OrdinationTruth.wordpress.com/equality/ . Truth is stranger than fiction.
Perfection. Will the curriculum include upper body weight training, just so students can be prepared? Oh, never mind.
Wouldn’t the degree actually be a Mistress of Prophesy, abbreviated Mist.Pro ?
Also, it would usher in a comment unavailable for more than a century: Not tonight, dear, I have a vision.
Can a Mistress of Prophecy also be a Master, or a Master a Mistress? This strikes me as a profound theological question in need to decades of further pondering and careful exegesis, at least, before Andrews does anything rash.
This story is so fake. It wasn’t David Houston and Torbjorn Nikason. It was actually Zayn Malik who announced this new degree. In fact, the new program is closely related to the real reason he left One Direction — so that he could go in a New Direction: to become the spiritual advisor to the Ted Cruz / Ben Carson presidential campaign. Now that Cruz has selected Carson as his VP running mate, the two will want lots of spiritual guidance. All three (Cruz, Carson, and Malik) indicated that they would rather become prophets than run a presidential campaign, but alas this program is for females only — so they will have to be satisfied with making large financial contributions to the program. I hope this clears up the confusion and sets the record straight.
This satire is funny, but it underscores something of real relevance to the debate about women’s ordination. There is an obvious truth that is being ignored or going unaddressed. Does anyone see the elephant in the room?
When I see the abbreviation “M. Prop.” the first word that comes to mind is “Malapropism.” Is this a prophetic premonition?