Adventists reminded not to prepare burnt offerings for Sabbath potluck

Just don't...
Just don’t…

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Leading Adventist nutritionists are reminding Adventists that burnt offerings are “no longer a thing” and should not make appearances at Sabbath potlucks.

“Do not try to bring back Old Testament practices just because you might be a bit more distracted than usual this week,” said Adventist Nutritional Association spokesperson, Kareem Paye.

“If you forget your casserole in the oven for too long as you do your Friday afternoon potluck prep, throw it out and just bring a tub of Little Debbies to church tomorrow.”

Paye said that after a stressful week nobody should be taking out their fears about the future on fellow church members at potluck.

“Distraction has a way of making Special K Loaf a little too special for human consumption.”

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  1. Richard mills

    You must have been to my church last week. We have burnt offerings every week . I hate these sin offerings. Bring me them LIttle Debbie’s. Never burnt. Not quite sinful. Yummmmy!!!

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