BURBANK, Calif. — Over 300 agitated church members spilled out into the lobby and parking lot of West Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church a mere five minutes into Senior Pastor Genio Aburrido’s sermon this Sabbath.
Congregants could be seen from the street shaking their heads in disbelief as they talked animatedly and updated their social media accounts. The cause of the exodus appears to be that Aburrido had attempted to tell his life story one too many times.
“He tells it almost every Sabbath,” said long-time member Delbert Hrumph. “I’ve even heard him slip it into the occasional midweek prayer meeting. It’s seriously killing me.”
Hrumph shared that after hearing his pastor’s life story more times than he can remember, he feels confident he could narrate the fairly predictable ups-and-downs of his pastor’s life in his sleep.
“I know where the dramatic pauses happen. I know exactly when the tears will flow and I can tell the pastor’s jokes jokes better than he can,” said Hrumph.
Numerous congregants testified that merely hearing their pastor’s admission that he “may have shared a few of these experiences before,” set enough of the collective blood pressure rising this Sabbath that they all followed Hrumph’s lead and made for the exits.