BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Adventist parents everywhere are desperately trying to console their children amid cries of rage and great disappointment. At the counsel of the General Conference Children’s Ministries department, Adventist parents used carob eggs for Easter egg hunts this year, a move that has appeared to have completely backfired.
Andrews University child psychology professor Esperanza Dulce reported that she had received a stream of calls from parents expressing guilt from “crushing their little ones’ dreams with what we all know is a massively inferior chocolate subsititute.”
“Children set out to hunt for chocolate eggs, their faces aglow with excitement only to bite into a mouthful of disappointment,” said Dulce who attended a carob Easter egg hunt in Berrien Springs earlier today. “From the looks of their faces they could just as well have eaten mud.”
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That recipe needs tweaking.
The kids need to be taught the fundamental Adventist truth that if it tastes good, is enjoyable, it isn’t good for you, so they should be scolded, “shut up and eat your carob so you can be healthy and not go to hell.”
The quoted Andrews child psychology professor has an interesting name, “Esperanza Dulce.” Yup, the kids had “sweet hope” but their hopes were dashed. Funny thing though, I actually enjoy the taste of carob; at least it’s better than spinach.
I love spinach.
Carob, though, does taste better than cat poop, I think, at least a little.
If carob was good for John the Baptist, it’s good enough for me and Donald Tramp.
Hey you little crabby kids-stop yer whiney. Be ye thankful. Think of your other little brothers & sisters far across the seas in those heathen lands that have nuttin’ to eat. They have to grovel in the local dumps for scraps and other bits of morsels. Shame-Shame-Shame on youse little brats!! To carob or not to carob-it’s a no brainer!! Woe is me!!
One time I stopped in at a local Self Supporting School to see my niece. They had just finished icing a cake, and I made a huge mistake of saying, “Mmmmm, chocolate!” By the immediate expressions from the young ladies, it was evident that I had inadvertently dropped a F-bomb. Should have known better, but I had totally forgo–Woe was me…..
Carob in and of itself is disappointing.
Disappointment? Schmisappointment! If carob was good for John the Baptist, it’s good enough for me and Ben Carsinogin.