Adventist chart wins Guinness World Record for “Most Confusing Illustration”

This chart got us in...
This chart got us in…

LONDON, England — The Seventh-day Adventist Church has set a fresh Guinness World Record for Most Confusing Illustration. Guinness spokesperson Naka Lilito said that the organization’s judges took one look at the Seventh-day Adventist prophetic chart and issued the record title to the denomination.

Lilito said that the judges were so impressed with the graphic that they asked to inspect the church’s archive of Daniel and Revelation artwork.

Insiders say that the artwork is inspiring entire new record categories. Judges are allegedly contemplating awarding the denomination record titles in hieroglyphics and “virtually indecipherable code.”


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  1. 7Upper

    Finally! Someone understands these pictures. Or at least their value. Renaming the church is in order now: C*SDA! (Confusion* Seventh-day Adventist). The asterisk with note underneath would explain why that is prize-winning positive! And the three angels could carry celestial asterisks imprinted on their wings.

    1. Walter Kronkite

      Yeah, I’m still trying to figure out that one. . . . What really makes it confusing is the fact that Loma Linda medical school offers an elective course in “Treating Little Debbies addiction” and a required course in “Diagnosis and Treatment of Little Debbie-induced Diabetes, Obesity, and Vascular Disease.” Hmm. . . .

      1. Debbie, all grown up now.

        It’s not my product which is bad, its the abusive, overeating, pig like behavior. Just like one glass of wine with your dinner does not make you a drunkard.
        Man up!!

  2. Renata LaPorte

    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍When people first consider joining a cult, they are treated positively, showered with attention, and are invited to take part in social activities with the group and its leader. Compliance at this stage can be a result of social pressure, but may also come as a result of politeness, or out of curiosity.
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍Once these positive experiences entice new recruits to stay, older members begin to treat them critically, isolating them and forcing them to take part in lectures about the fundamental beliefs of the group. The cult diminishes the recruit’s sense of self and her ability to make good decisions, so compliance results from an effort to reduce these negative aspects of group membership.
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍Eventually, the recruits will experience “identification,” where they will comply with the group and its leader because they want to please them, and often because they would like to imitate them. The level of compliance is gradually increased, until the recruits are made to comply with extreme demands.
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍Cult members eventually begin to adopt the beliefs and values of the group as their own, and will openly make sacrifices for the group. At this point, recruits have become devoted members at the “internalization” stage, which goes together with “consolidation” where allegiance to the group is solidified with total acceptance of all aspects of the cult.

  3. Elvis Parsley

    That’s how it worked when I joined a UFO cult. The little green aliens were nice to me at first, then they shamed me and indoctrinated me until I believed them hook, line, and sinker. Then I sank into their dogma and drank their Kool-Aid until I smelled a rat and Scotty beamed me up.

    1. Millie Richards

      Hey Richard, say Hi to the guy in the white coat. Hey, I see one of those dudes comin’ at me right now. Far out, dude, like what’s that straight-jacket thingy he gots there?

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