Adventists prohibited from dating within home churches

It's OK, he goes to church on the other side of town...
It’s OK, he goes to church on the other side of town…

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an effort to “stem the splintering of Adventism,” church leadership has banned members from dating other members in their home church.

“While we love for Adventists to marry other Adventists, dating people from your local church is like peeing in your own pool,” said General Conference Director of Romantic Interference Amor Sincero.

He explained the new rule definitely does not mean that Adventists should now indulge in unequally yoked dating with non-Adventists; just that they should make an effort to find someone from another Adventist congregation.

Sincero said that just as dating in the workplace can be bad for business, dating and then breaking up in a local church setting has a way of “putting a damper on the Sabbath morning kumbaya factor.”

He said perhaps the most serious consequence of dating around in a small to medium-sized church is the growing list of exes that eliminates potluck tables at which one is welcome.

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  1. Richieeeee Rich

    There are no no cute chicks in your church, Chuy. Get out and go SDA church hopping until you see the girl of your dreams. Try one of the colleges or Andrews. Usually a good pick there. You just might find one who fits the SOP version of a good wife. Chow, Chuy. See you in the cafeteria.

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