COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University Church is introducing its latest technological investment next Sabbath: a sleep cam. A dedicated camera operator will scan the congregation for sleeping members or visitors. WWUC spokesperson, Alexa Bennings, explained that if and when “sleepers” are located, live video of the offending party will be projected onto the sanctuary’s front screen “until the sleeper wakes from his or her slumber.”
The sleep cam was selected from a range of options explored by the WWUC Church Board to combat pervasive church napping. “We looked at everything: harder pews, louder organ music, poles for deacons on sleep patrol, the list went on and on,” said Bennings.
Church Board members finally chose the sleep cam after reaching a consensus that the social pressure of being filmed snoozing would provide the best “light-hearted reminder to everyone that church is not for sleeping.”
Some members have protested the move, claiming that live video of members napping could break the flow of the service. Bennings acknowledged that “the first few times we bust someone things might get a little out of hand,” but that in the long-term, “people will get to bed on time on Friday night.”
Let’s expand this cam stuff to SDA college & university classrooms, church board meetings & other SDA events. Maybe at the 2015 GC meeting in Texas. Wait a minute– with the WO thing, the 29th Fund belief, elections, etc. there ain’t gonna be much time for napping!! In our church, we play the song, “Wake Up Little Susie”. Works every time!!Woe is me!!
INCREDIBLY INSIGHTFUL RECOMMENDATIONS, Richard. A KEEN MIND YOU HAVE THERE, Brother!!!!
May I suggest running a gentle electric currant thru the padded seats. Those caught napping get an unseen prodding from “ahem” below. The ripple effect across the church would be awesome.
OUTSTANDINGLY AWESOME IDEA!!! I HIGHLY and LOWLY RECOMMEND IT. 🙂 🙂
Your sometimes FUNNY (on RARE OCCASIONS) and HILARIOUSLY FOOLISH and OFTEN RIDICULOUS AND SILLY BEYOND MEASURE, quotes, anecdotes go way to far toward SACRILEGIOUS NONSENSE. While I know and acknowledge you mean NO HARM (???). There is a LIMIT TO EVERYTHING except, I GUESS, for you who have nothing sensible to contemplate.
ENJOY and PLEASE DON’T HAVE TOO MUCH FUN. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Is this where tithe money goes? This is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in awhile. Perhaps if the pastor has rousing applicable interesting sermons…people wouldn’t sleep in church. And turn the heat down. In more ways than one. You really think focusing on snoozers will grow the church?
Lighten up, this is a satire site, this is a joke!
I realize that not all the knives in your drawer are sharp, but you might want to rethink the idea of believing everything you see in print.
No room for people with sleep apnea? Fun time for all but the afflickted! What about including shots of the nose pickers, and the yawner’s and gum chewer’s. Wouldn’t that be great entertainment. I believe you need to rethink the idea. My vote is forget this shameful idea.
Obviously Bruce, not all the candles in the cathedral are lit, but this is a joke.
You have nothing better to spend tithe money on?????? This is ridiculous, or maybe stupid is a better word for it. I have never been a church sleeper, but there were a few times where I was out a good share of Friday night on a rescue or fire call that I did nod off. You would actually have the nerve to embarrass somebody like this. I would definitely NEVER darken the doorway of your church again……….
Again, this is a SATIRE site, there is no plan to actually use such a device. LOL
This “joke” is a clear demonstration of the misuse of minds and valuable tools. The net should be used for information, especially when it throws a light on an institution like WWU and it’s church services, not for stupidity. I was refered to this site from another sight by FB and I assume others will be as well. Your joke appeared to be the real article and would as such appear as further evidence of the Adventist church being just a cult. Is THIS really the way you jokesters want the world to see us? Perhaps you should realise that MANY do not know that you cannot trust all you read…note the sad results of our last two presidential elections…and do beleive that it has to be true if it is on the internet….TRY to THINK about the unintended consequences of any joke, especially if it can go viral, BEFORE you put itout there!
We have a solution for dozers already. Not all of our pews are padded, so if you doze, you get banished to the un padded pews. AND this is ALL satire, people.
Tithe money doesn’t stay at the local church, by the way, so for those so worried about the tithe monies, you can rest comfortably knowing your precious 10% (most don’t even pay that) won’t be spent on the sleep cam.
Hilarious! You picked a good one for satire. The pews at WWU couldn’t GET any harder or the backs of them angled at a more uncomfortable slant, Alex’s preaching can’t be slept through, and the volume of that tremendous organ would raise the dead. Love the photo caption. Well done, BA!
What’s next? Public flogging? This is why I’m no longer a member of the SDA church. Social shaming its members to follow the rest of the flock in whatever direction they are going at the time. Wake up Sheeple…the grass is greener on the other side.
Must have left your sense of humor behind as well! (Alert-Satire site!)
No, thankfully I still have that intact. Despite all of the emotional damage the that the church did to me. But it wouldn’t surprise me if they did start doing something like that.
Why not get a preacher with a message to keep us awake?
This fiction is funny, but I heard about a pastor who actually takes pictures of the slumbering saints in his congregation and posts them on Facebook.
If a pastor did that to me he’d no longer be my pastor.
I think if I was caught sleeping and showed on a screen the next week i would not be in church. I have almost quit going to church because I do have trouble staying awake not matter how much sleep I get the night befor
This idea must be the idea of a boring preacher. At least the sleepers are in church. They are being blessed by not having to hear another worthless sermon. When they wake up, they get to visit with their friends.
But the offended Adventists show just how stupid many Adventists are. This again shows that Adventism is a cult.
Thank you Sevey for you Adventists humor!!