COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Citing duty to do their honest part to perpetuate the time-honored tradition of Adventist pastor/nurse marriages, Walla Walla University’s Marketing and Enrollment Department has begun selling the contact details of students in the school’s Nursing program to single pastors. Although the data just went on sale today, the university has been flooded with inquiries and orders from young pastors across the Unites States. “There’s a real sense of desperation in the voices of many pastors as they call to ask about the contact list,” said department spokesperson, Jannine Nantucket. “Some have been stuck in pre-ordination limbo for years because they don’t have a wife. We think we can help.” She added that, depending on how voting goes this summer, WWU’s male nurses may be of interest to female pastors seeking ordination.
“Depending on how voting goes this summer, WWU’s male nurses may be of interest to female pastors seeking ordination.” That’s funny, sevvy, very clever. But why was this nurse-bride program even necessary, when there are already thousands of lovely Russian brides for sale on the Internet?
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Why not take the next logical step, and arrange for arranged marriages for all Adventists?