LINCOLN, NE. ̶ Residence halls at Union College are filled to maximum capacity and rapid campus population growth is resulting in a student housing shortage. In response, International Rescue and Relief (IRR) professor, E. Mergency has come up with a plan to cope with overcrowding until new larger dormitories can be built: Banish IRR majors to living outdoors.
Starting this week, IRR students have been sleeping outdoors in hammocks that have been strung up all over campus. “I realize this might be a bit of a shock to the system but if you major in International Rescue and Relief ‘Adventure begins your freshman year’ is not just a program tag line but a way of life,” said Mergency.
Along with IRR students’ normal classes, a new class has been added to the curriculum: Nebraska Survival 101. In this class students are given special guidelines for handling any Nebraska weather: from gentle rain to freezing temperatures to tornadoes. Extra credit is rewarded to those students who do not acquire frostbite as the winter months approach.
To counter protests from students that are unwilling to spend the school year living outdoors, Unions is “rewarding” IRR majors with a sleeping bag and basic survival gear. “We are throwing in a 10% discount on tuition as well as these kids are keeping our utilities bills low,” said Mergency.
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