SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an emotional press conference this morning, General Conference President Ted Wilson spoke to reporters about the biggest regret of his time in office so far.
“I seriously regret encouraging TMI,” said Wilson explaining that he thought the abbreviation was a catchy way to sum up Total Membership Involvement in the Adventist Church.
“Instead it led to a simply unacceptable level of sharing way too much personal information among the bretheren.”
Wilson complained that because of the misunderstanding his schedule has been filled with trivial catch-up sessions.
He introduced a newly appointed interpreter to make sure no more of his words are lost in translation into modern English.
After telling reporters how to find her her on Myspace, Wilson’s interpreter Wai Tamminut told reporters that the president had been “inundated with GC employees he doesn’t even know who just want to pour their hearts out to him TMI-style in lengthy one-on-ones.”
When asked if there were any other problematic phrases to clear up immediately, Tamminut said she had a whole list.
“Revival and Reformation” (spirituality and focus on Jesus)
“The remnant will suffer persecution” (Following Jesus – the struggle is real)
“The Great Commission” (Get out of the church and do something)
“Unity in diversity” (Hey NAD, stop whining)
When Wilson and Tamminut were asked about the phrase “God’s Highest Authority on Earth” both remembered meetings for which they were late.