RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Days after announcing a new policy allowing co-ed dorm room Bible studies, La Sierra University administrators are reporting a huge surge in small group attendance among the student population. “Hundreds of students have formed Bible study groups, some of them meeting every night of the week,” said Campus Chaplain, Jorge Martinez who said he was “pleased as pie” with the results.
Deans of both men’s and women’s residence halls have expressed their surprise at the enthusiasm with which students are approaching their new Bible study regimens. “Even rooms that were literally messy beyond redemption have been cleaned up,” said Associate Dean of Men, Ben Davis, “It’s like we are living in a perpetual state of Open House.”
Student RA, Mike Bradley said that “There were dudes that just last week were shuffling around the dorm hallways looking like trash and all of a sudden they are walking around all slick like its date night every night. This is crazy!”
Although co-ed Bible study hours currently end at 9 PM, student Bible study leaders are lobbying administration to extend them to midnight citing the deep spiritual needs among the student population. “Listen, the Bible is super long and there are souls that need some serious saving around here,” said Junior Communication Major, Julio Juarez, himself a popular small group leader. Juarez has gone as far as printing invitations to his dorm room and distributing them to all the pretty girls he has so far identified as being single.