ANGWIN, Calif. — In an unexpected move, Pacific Union College announced that former Vice President Joe Biden has been confirmed as the new president of the institution.
Although a press release from the college admits that the choice is “a departure from historical precedent” given Biden’s non-Adventist status, administration nonetheless feels the school is in good hands.
“President Biden has a long and proven record as a leader and administrator,” said PUC Spokesperson Anne Gwinn. “We are completely confident that given some time he can adopt vegetarianism and read up on the lamblike beast.”
Asked if PUC was worried about having someone as gaffe-prone as Biden as president, Gwinn said that Biden would be using a teleprompter for public speeches and had readily agreed to never discuss the issue of academic freedom, with him commenting that it was “well above my pay grade anyway.”
Gwinn confirmed that Biden had already been over for an area tour and agreed to take the job on one condition: He will be living in Elmshaven.
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The authorship of this article has been misattributed. I am eminently familiar with the writing of this author as I have been an avid follower of their work for many a year now. It is not to be wondered at, however, considering that this author has ghosted their way through millennia, applying their pen to the finest that literature has to offer from Homer through Shakespeare up to Tolkien and onward (I’m told he will, however, have nothing at all to do with George R.R. Martin, citing him as “a bit on the smelly side”).
So, to author Jean Yuss, my undying admiration
(at least until I’m dead…that kind of throws a wrench into the rhetorical works)
Yo, PUC-way to go, bro. Maybe Barack will head up Oakwood in 2017. I have connections, let me know what I can do to facilitate this obsession or my name ain’t RicheeeRich for nothing.
It is a joke. This site is not trustful. It is DIABOLIC. It’s full of Lies and should be closed. An innocent SDA reads it and spread the lies through the church; Sorry, ALL LIARS will go to Hell. Rev. 21:8: “and all LIARS shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone”