SILVER SPRING, Md. — Scrutiny of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is intensifying by the day as Adventist retired neurosurgeon and US presidential candidate, Dr. Ben Carson has begun to establish himself as the new Republican front-runner.
Adventist leaders, distraught at some of Carson’s polarising comments are desperately trying to distance the church from the candidate. Their latest tactic has been to suggest that he presents himself as a Baptist.
“What we’re asking for is no big deal,” said General Conference Director of Reversals, O. Streedg Sand. “We really aren’t that different from the Baptists. Switch out the day, bring back everlasting hell and start eating ham and you’re basically good to go.”
Dr. Carson could even claim Seventh-day Baptist afilliation if he wanted to, said Sand, “we just need our phones to stop ringing 24/7.”
Sand said that the Seventh-day Adventist Church hadn’t gotten this much unwanted PR “since the whole Waco thing back in ’93. And Koresh wasn’t even Adventist. This time the headlines will be way worse.”
- Where Single Adventists meet. Free 2 year membership. Divorced, widowed, and never married welcomed. We want Adventists to meet other Adventists.
I say we all just rush Carson…he can’t get all of us!
DR CARSON IS SCHEDULED TO DO A LOBOTOMY ON AN UNDISCLOSED PROFESSOR AT SOUTHERN NEXT SABBATH AM, BUT PROMISED TO STREAM 3ABM INTO THE SURGICAL SUITE. BOOKS ON SALE AFTER THE SURGERY.
The Seventh-day Adventist Church Should Act Quickly and Disfellowship Dr. Ben Carson
Dr. Ben Carson should be disfellowshipped immediately due to his recently announced intention to Nazify the Department of Education and his faith in the Ayn Rand-ist propaganda of the Reichpublicans. Ayn Rand-ism is a Satanic delusion.
Yes, and I Will throw the first stone. There can be no room for the likes of him. All in favor raise RT hand.
THERE IS GOOD SHOCK THERAPY TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
What is the GC afraid of? Will all this notariety bring disaster upon the SDA church & membership? Can persecution be far behind? Get thee behind me, GC!! I know it’s satire, but the truth is too close here! Woe is me!!
IS IT ENOUGH TO SAY YOU ARE “CHRISTIAN” OR MUST WE DECLARE MEMBERSHIP TO A DENOMINATION?
SALVATION IS IN AND THRU CHRIST AND HIM ALONE. MEMBERSHIP AND COMPLIANCE WITH RULES AND REGS OF A DENOMINATION WONT CUT IT.
NICE PHOTO. I MET PRES G BUSH ONCE IN CHICAGO. NICE MAN. CLAIMS HE IS CHRISTIAN.
REPENT FROM YOUR WAYS BOY. SOUTHERN PENTECOSTALS ARE THE TRUE, BLUE CHURCH OF GOD.
This is just my opinion if this article is authentic and not just another one made up by the media. To me what the GC is doing is bringing bad publicity to themselves. The GC should size this opportunity to make the Seventh Day Adventist known. God is in control, not them. God will allow things to happen according to his plans, not the GC’s plans.
Found in a newly excavated Egyptian tomb: Joseph, 2000 hectares of grain, a scarred belt buckle, and a copy of the Desire of Ages…
No one knows why the pyramids were built. We are all entitled to our own assumptions. We were not there. So sad to make fun of another human being, just because they think differently than us.
We are entitled to our own assumptions, but that doesn’t make them true or even sensible. Dr. Ben said he thought the pyramids were built for grain storage, but they are 99% solid stone, with less than 1% empty space inside, passages, chambers, so as a practical matter of fact Dr. Ben’s opinion is either ignorance or nonsense.
Dr. Ben is running for president, arguably the most critical single job on earth, he needs to be scrutinized very carefully before we go to the polls. Just like every other candidate.
I see your point, I agree.
I was wondering about the 1% too. I agreed about anyone running for president should be scrutinized.
I’ve got tears running…but it is not from sadness
I am so glad I was able to brighten your day! Life is too stressful and short as it is, to keep complicating it with not serious matters. It is so good to lighten up, I am glad I was able to help you 🙂
WHAT’S THE MATTER DEAR?
JIMMY HOFFA IS BURIED IN THERE TOO, THEY COULD NO WRAP HIM UP THOUGH
VINNY, YOU TALK TOO MUCH
This is nothing new for SDA. They don’t want to be revealed because too many know what they are about.
So tell me, what are they about?
The bling. They wanna go to heaven and get the bling, the Big Mansion, the Streets Paved With Gold, an endless life of infinite effortless bliss.
Jesus never said “Go ye into all the world and build big churches.”
Jesus said, “Feed the hungry. Care for the sick. Shelter the homeless. Whatever you do for them, you do for me.” Matthew 25.
But most of the churches, Adventists and all the others, spend WAY more money building big churches than they do feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and sheltering the homeless.
Christians In Name Only.
I don’t think is fair to generalize, because in my church we just stayed overnight taking turns fedding 2 homeless families, taking them to school for a week until they were able to find a place to call home. We do this and others things for the community as often as needed.
GOOD POINT, WE JEWS DO MANY GOOD WORKS TOO. I HEAR SOME TIBET MONKS ARE PRACTICING GOOD WORKS AND KINDNESS.
Hi Jew, you are kissing the pint of generalizing. It wasn’t about works…never mind. But thanks for your input.
Baptism = members = income, same as $$$$$$
Every religion does that. We are all humans, not perfect at all.
HELLO. I AM GOING TO START MY OWN DENOMINATION. THE POPE KICKED ME OUT FOR HAVING A WOMAN.
MEMBERSHIP WILL BE FREE.
Good luck with that! Lol!!
LOL! It’s way too late for the Adventist church to escape from the long tentacles of President Dr. Ben!
I just can’t wait ’til Bill Maher finds out that Ellen G. White says that dinosaurs were “an amalgamation of man and beast,” and that “secret vice” is the leading cause of death, disease, and insanity!
LOL, FUEL FOR A FOOL, RAKA
Hey, I already clipped those nails, but yeah they were long
HEY RAY, IS EGW STILL AROUND? OR IS THIS A VOICE FROM BEYOND?
ACTUALLY, I HOPE BEN GETS TO ESCAPE THE LONG TENTACLES OF THE SDA.
It’s not about him. It’s about what he says.
Dr. Carson rebuked the liberal media for trying to stir up a scandal over his untruthful claim of a West Point scholarship: “”There’s got to be a scandal. There’s got to be some nurse he’s had an affair with. There’s got to be something.’ They have gotten desperate,” Carson said. “Next week, it will be my kindergarten teacher who said I peed in my pants. It’s ridiculous. But it’s OK because I totally expect it.” http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/06/politics/ben-carson-responds-violent-past-new-day/
The story about Ben “lying” about the scholarship is a false report. Ben actually told the truth. http://www.dailywire.com/news/960/no-ben-carson-didnt-lie-about-west-point-its-ben-shapiro
If anyone was lying, it was Politico. http://thefederalist.com/2015/11/06/politico-admits-fabricating-a-hit-piece-on-ben-carson/
There are rational, reasonable explanations for all of the so-called “lies” that the liberal media are accusing Carson of, including the Mannatech connection, the Perceptions 301 make-up exam at Yale, the claim of being temperamental and violent as a child, and the offer of a West Point education. It’s laughable how they are going through his book with a fine-toothed comb, desperately trying find something–anything–they can call “inconsistent” or “inaccurate.” Spend 5 minutes surfing reputable news outlets and you will see why the liberal critics’ accusations are full of holes. The liberal scandal-seekers are the only ones lying. Specifically, they’re lying about Carson. I bet their next step will be to bribe a nurse to claim there was an affair, or bribe Carson’s kindergarten teacher to claim that he once urinated in his pants or forgot to flush the toilet. I wouldn’t be surprised if The Donald or The Hillary are behind this quest to raise a scandal. It is sad to see how low the shysters will stoop in a vicious effort to discredit a true hero.
You must be referring to the desperate Donald Dump and Hilarious Clinton.
The accusations about Mannatech are stupid. Ben did not lie about it. He truthfully said that he takes the product personally and believes it’s a good product; but he did not have a relationship with the company, meaning he was not a sales distributor / marketer in that MLM company. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2015/11/04/ben-carsons-claim-he-did-not-have-an-involvement-or-formal-relations-with-mannatech/
Satire: “the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like”
That means it’s all a big joke. Don’t take everything you read on the internet seriously folks. Let’s wait to see what Dr Carson does or does not do, then let’s make some informed comments.
DAVID, YOUR SO FUNNY. NOW GO GET ME A TEA.
Dr. Carson has lots of accomplishments and has a right to be proud of them: http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/ben-carson-displays-achievements-portraits-throughout-home
And he has the right to believe in a Black Jesus. http://verysmartbrothas.com/this-painting-of-ben-carson-and-jesus-in-ben-carsons-home-is-the-blackest-thing-ive-ever-seen-this-week/
And he has the right to bash the liberal media. http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/08/politics/ben-carson-criticizes-media/
Of course he does. It’s true. And even if it’s not true, he has the right to have a picture like that. And even if he doesn’t have a right to have a picture like that, he still has a right to believe it. Even if he doesn’t have a right to believe it, he has a right to think it. And even if he doesn’t have a right to think it, he has a right to feel like that.
Dr. Ben has a complicated relationship with the truth. . . . http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/09/opinion/ben-carson-and-the-truth.html
Not so complicated. Buzzfeed was easily able to debunk the Wall Street Journal’s flawed, deficient reporting about Ben Carson. The liberal media is a vast left-wing conspiracy. http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/ben-carsons-yale-classmate-we-did-the-prank-test-that-carson The liberal left-wing conspiracy owes an apology to Dr. Carson. They see what they want to see, and twist and distort what they don’t want to see.
Good one, Ben! You go, guy!
WHY I VOTE DEMOCRAT:
BUILD UP THE GAY AGENDA, REGARDLESS OF WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT IT.
MAKE PEOPLE DEPEND ON GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS AND HAVE THE FOOLS WHO WORK PAY FOR IT.
WE NEED MORE ABORTIONS, OUR BELOVED FOUNDER OF PLANNED PARENTHOOD AGREED WITH THE NAZI ON RACIAL CONTROL.
ALL DRUGS WILL BE LEGALIZED ONE DAY, POT IS THE BEGINNING, PEOPLE NEED TO BE FREE TO CHOOSE, A JUNKY IS NEVER GONNA PROGRESS.
WE NEED A GOVERNMENT THAT WILL TURN A BLIND EYE ON THE SUBTLE TAKE OVER BY MUSLIMS.
WE NEED A COUNTRY WHERE RELIGION AND TRUST AND FAITH IN GOD WILL BE ABOLISHED.