Church Bathrooms to Feature Signs Demanding Sabbath Greeters Wash Hands

Are you forgetting something?

ADVENTIST WORLD — As of this coming Sabbath, new signage will feature in every Adventist church bathroom. The signs will command church greeters to wash their hands after using the facilities.

“The new signage comes as a direct response to complaints that church greeter handshakes feel clammier and more suspect than ever,” said a memo explaining the new requirement. “Church members should not have to feel like they need to use a bottle of hand sanitizer every time they are greeted and handed a church bulletin.”

Along with the new bathroom regulation, churches have been given strict instructions to send home any greeter caught sneezing into their hands in between handshakes as catching a nasty cold at church makes for anything but a happy Sabbath.

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  1. richee rich

    Right now, I am more concerned about the hands of those who are serving me that infamous potluck dinner. My Little Debbies have been untouched by human hands until I open the package. Voila!!

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