Bono Checks Into Weimar to Give Voice a NEWSTART

He’s volunteered to play for vespers…

Weimar, Calif. — U2 lead singer, Bono, has checked into the health center at the Weimar Institute after his voice failed him at a concert on Saturday.

Bono said that he was looking for the place with the least chance of cigarette smoke on earth after complaining that Berlin’s Mercedes-Benz Arena, where his voice failed, felt like a giant cigar.

The singer said that he was interested in applying NEWSTART health principles to his voice and that he realized that this meant submitting to a flavorless, vegan wilderness diet for the foreseeable future.

Minutes after his arrival, Bono was overheard speculating about how Weimar’s dress reform principles could help reinvent U2’s stage look when they got back to touring.

Weimar’s administrators are reportedly holding off on telling Bono how the feel about rock music until his voice recovers.

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One comment

  1. richeerich

    Because Bono’s illness fell on the Sabbath day, could this be a form of punishment for Sabbath breaking? I hope Bono gets to eat Little Debbies while at Weimar. As far as rock music-he will fit in at any SDA Youth event in North America.

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