Adventist Colleges Replace Campus Security Officers With Robots

Uh oh?

ADVENTIST WORLD — In a bold, blanket move, Adventist colleges have replaced all campus security personnel with robots.

Although the initial capital outlay has forced a substantial tuition hike, it is believed that the robots are far less likely to manufacture traffic infractions out of thin air or claim you missed curfew when you CLEARLY made it through the front gate a good 15 seconds early.

The decision to bring in the new technology was made after a particularly rough time for college administrators last semester during which over-earnest veggie cops pulled over almost every school president for speeding.

The final argument for the campus security robots is that they are likely to show a lot more human warmth and understanding than the current regime. Plus, you don’t have to give them Sabbaths off.


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