SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference officials are reporting a torrential outpouring of relief from Seventh-day Adventists around the world as news spreads that Adventist retired neurosurgeon and 2016 US presidential hopeful, Ben Carson, is ending his campaign for the White House.
“It’s definitely a bittersweet moment,” said GC Communications spokesperson Cuba Gooding, when asked to explain why Adventists are reacting as they are to the news. “All 18 million of us are proud of Dr. Carson’s record as a surgeon but just about everyone was nervous about how things would turn out when he said he was running for president and started making controversial statements.”
Gooding said that Adventists worldwide have been obsessed with the 2016 presidential election from the moment Dr. Carson challenged President Obama’s agenda at the 2013 National Prayer Breakfast.
As a church, Adventists are “more jittery than most” about having one of their own in the political spotlight, said Gooding. “In our heart of hearts we still only see three real career tracks for Adventists: pastoring, teaching or something medical. Running for president isn’t something we push.”
Adventist theology may be the biggest reason for Adventist relief at Carson’s campaign coming to an end, said Gooding. “Having an Adventist in charge of the most powerful country on earth has never really squared with us prophetically.”
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Actually, this isn’t satirical at all (except for the Cuba Gooding reference). It’s all quite true. Breathing … 🙂
TOO BAD HE OPTED OUT. IT WAS NOT HIS TIME. I GUESS IM NOT ONE OF THE 18 MILLION, THANK GOD.
GO TRUMP.
THIS CORRESPONDENT HAS RECENTLY SENT MATERIAL. I T WAS NOT ACKNOWLWDGED. THUS I AM SUSPECTIONG AS NOW PICTURED.
“Minds are like parachutes: they only function when open.”
― Lord Thomas Dewar.”
~ BREAKING NEWS ~
Southern Adventist University Announces 26th President
Collegedale, Tenn.– Yesterday Southern Adventist University’s Board of Trustees unanimously voted to formally invite Dr. Benjamin S. Carson to serve as the school’s 26th president. After much prayer, Carson accepted the position today, according to university spokesman Paul Harvey.
“I am honored to follow Gordon Bietz who has provided Southern with 19 years of distinguished leadership,” Carson said. “I look forward to partnering with God and all who are associated with Southern to see how He will make a special school even more special.”
Carson, a retired neurosurgeon, is no stranger to the campus, having donated his services to perform lobotomies and top-secret experiments on students and staff during a 17 year period in the ’80s and ’90s. Though an exact start date has yet to be determined, Dr. Carson looks forward to working alongside President Bietz in the months leading up to his retirement, said assistant spokesman Cuba Gooding.
Accordingly, Dr. Carson has announced that he is suspending his campaign for nomination as the Republican presidential candidate. “Serving as President of Southern is a far greater honor than running for President of the United States, and I really like the Collegedale area a lot better than Washington, D.C.,” said Dr. Carson in a news release. “And now you know the rest of the story,” said spokesman Harvey.
Hellery will appoint Dr. Carson as the next U.S. Surgeon General. She will appoint Ted Cruise as Attorney General, Donald Dump as Secretary of Commerce, and B’rock O’bomba as Supreme Court Justice. Hellery will appoint Burny Sanders as chief janitor and Mark O. Ruby-oh as dog-catcher. As for John KaySick, he will simply ride into the sunset.
Mitten Romney and Jeb Kush are the best candidates for the 2016 election. All “barely Adventists” should vote for them. Please don’t support the Trump/Putin ticket.
Al-Jazeera perceptively asked: “Did the Democrats with the Republican debate?” Yes – guess who won the Republican debate last Thursday? The Democrats! When the GOP fights itself, Hellery wins. We need to stop this civil war and start thinking about the 5-point guideline that I posted Friday night: https://www.facebook.com/realbencarson/posts/604162299750240
As The Donald spews vulgarity and spats with Little Marco, the Muslims are asking a very good question: Did the Democrats win the GOP debate? http://www.AlJazeera.com/blogs/americas/2016/03/democrats-win-republican-debate-donald-trump-160304050948998.html
We’ll miss Gentle Ben. He and John KaySick were the only adults on the stage. Guess who won the Republiclown debate? Hellery and the Democraps. Some establishment GOPs doubt if Tramp really is a Republiclown. No need to doubt; Mr. Tramp definitely is a real RepubliKlan. He will make Amerika great again.
Donaldo Trumpstein’s favorite book is Mein Kampf.
YOU SHOULD KNOW. WINK, WINK.
Adventist are signing a relief, it sounds more likely because of the tall poppy syndrome, than it ‘squares with SDA prophetically’ and ‘running for president isn’t something we push.’ I am really thankful for many things Ben did to glorify God when he was running for President. Especially the day he held a sign, saying he is a christian, that was a beautiful fire of faith and love and had a massive impact as a role model because of his position, for all Christians in America, not just for SDA’s. May God continue to find work for Ben in his vineyard in mighty and powerful ways.
Now that Ben is out, vote: “Trump/Putin 2016 – Making America Hate Again!”
Berrien Springs, Mich (March 8, 2016): Today the governing board of Andrews University appointed Dr. Benjamin S. Carson to become president when Dr. Niels-Erik Andreasen retires in June. Carson will head up the leading educational institution affiliated with the Adventist denomination.
Andreasen has served for 22 years as AU president of the Adventist Church’s flagship university. Carson will be the first surgeon to serve as president.
Before coming to AU, Carson was chief of pediatric neurosurgery and professor of surgery at Johns Hopkins University. He holds a B.S. from Yale and an M.D. from the University of Michigan. He also ran for nomination as the Republican presidential candidate before suspending his campaign on March 4, 2016, to accept the call to Andrews.
“I am excited and humbled by this opportunity to serve and lead,” Carson said. “I look forward to the opportunity to carry on the incredible heritage of Dr. Andreasen’s two decades of leadership … and to find powerful and strategic ways to continue to … serve the constituencies of Andrews University, both on our Berrien Springs campus and in our Andrews University family around the world.”
Today’s vote came after several months of meetings, evaluation of candidates and interviews conducted by the Presidential Search Committee appointed by the board. Two names were submitted to the board which made the final decision with a secret ballot in an executive session of the board.
Dr. Ben Schoun, chairman of the Board, pointed to Dr. Carson’s scholarship, inspirational life story, and formidable fundraising experience as key factors in the selection. “Fundraising is one of the most important functions of a university president,” said Schoun. “With Dr. Carson’s promise to make his political donors list available to the university, there will be an abundant source of endowment funds.” A formal vote of confirmation is planned at a meeting on June 2 when new board members will be seated.
We SDA’s need to weep & cry between the porch & altar with the bowing out of C arson.
He was gonna beef up the SDA Health System to where it could turn a profit. Loma Linda MD’s would have to spread out all across the USA, not just around Loma Linda & California. He was gonna brain pick his elite staff to be able to really think and not just repeat others words & thoughts. Carson would do well as the top administrator of any of our SDA medical schools, maybe even run the Florida Hospital System. What you think??
It’s not 18 million, but 1.8 million here in North America. Other SDA’s around the world could care less!!
OF THE SDA MEMBERS WITH WHOM I HAVE SPOKEN ABOUT CARSON, THOSE WHO DID NOT WANT HIM TO BE PRESIDENT, SAID THEY FEARED HE WOULD BREAK THE SABBATH!!!! THAT WAS THE PRIMARY CONCERN.
LOL. SOME EMBRACE THE HEAVY LEGAL YOLK AND OTHERS EMBRACE THE GIFT OF THE SABBATH REST…. WHICH CAN BE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, SPIRITUAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL OR A COMBO.
Amazingly, Dr. Ben Carsinogen is endorsing Donald Tramp today. Truth is stranger than fiction! He probably thinks Mr. Dump will select him for a VP running mate.
DR BEN CARSON ENDORSING DONALD TRUMP.
Carson has made a point of glowingly emphasizing his SDA membership.
Your correspondent seeks an opportunity to tell Carson about a supposedly
inspired statement by EGW which asserts that in the heavenly kingdom, Carson will be a Caucasian with Trump.
In heaven there will be no color line; for all will be as white as Christ himself. Gospel Herald, March 16, 1901.
Once upon a yesterday, Carson signed an agreement testifying that he was in full harmony with EGW ::::: 8. I accept the Biblical teaching of spiritual gifts, and believe that the gift of prophecy is one of the identifying marks of the remnant church.
This correspondent was terminated as an SDA minister in 1995 partly because he allegedly failed to sufficiently emphasize the words of EGW.
You can’t be so serious! BarelyAventist.com is a SATIRICAL publication, not newsworthy, factual, or meant to be taken seriously.
The collective Adventist sign of relief has escalated into a gasp of horror…