Walla Walla campus cop arrested for (badly) impersonating an officer

The vehicle Holster was driving at time of arrest.

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla Campus Safety officer Doug Holster was arrested by College Place police late last night in what the local police department is calling “the last straw in a series of attempts to badly impersonate an officer.”

Describing Holster’s behavior on duty as “borderline harassment,” police spokesperson Sgt. Ted Blancher has said that although Holster was officially arrested for “speeding outside his jurisdiction with his siren blaring and makeshift lights flashing,” this latest incident was just one in a long string of offenses committed by the over-zealous campus cop.

“Holster seems to think he singlehandedly upholds the law around here,” said Blancher. “The other day we caught him issuing illegitimate parking tickets outside Taco Bell when someone had taken his favorite parking spot. He even kept his uniform on hoping it would command respect.”

“Unfortunately a lot of campus security job applicants have a certain personality profile,” said Blancher.  “And a little power in the wrong hands has a tendency to get abused. Walla Walla must have been scraping the bottom of the barrel when they hired Holster.”

Nobody at the Walla Walla Campus Security department has protested Holster’s arrest. Walla Walla Campus Security confirmed that Holster had already raised eyebrows in the office for repeated requests for “cooler gear.”  Two weeks ago he submitted a written request begging “at the very least” to be allowed to carry some pepper spray. A few months ago he submitted a request for a donut expense account.



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  1. Ray Kraft

    Funny, but true . . . I remember a couple of those guys . . . a lot of the safety officers are wannabe cops who couldn’t pass the psych eval, and not just as SDA colleges, everywhere.

  2. DI

    This may seem laughable… However, last October, I was stopped outside of my College Place home after being followed/tailgated down a main Street and two side streets!

    There were two men… In a nondiscript white older model car with a cherry on top!

    They were dresses similarly but not in uniform. The taller man flashed a badge at me.

    The taller guy asked for my license and told me I had been reported
    As driving irrratically. To which I responded, “ME????”

    I am an older gal with no driving OR previous problems with the law!

    He also informed me I smelled like alcohol!!!!

    He took my license to the car a gave it to the other guy… Then returned to ask if I had any prescription drugs!

    As I sat waiting for my license, I noticed the car was unmarked, there was no radio type noises and I realized he had not asked for my registration or proof of insurance!!!
    Odd… But I have never been one to question authority.

    He returned with my license and said I could leave with a warning!
    I was freaked out!! Ran it by a couple of friends and they urged me to call the College Place PD. I did and an officer came to my home… He checked to see if my name was in the system, it was not!! I live alone so I was fearful. I gave the officer a detailed written report. He said I could and should refuse to speak with any “cop” that stops me until I confirm identity by calling 911.

    Just wondering if there’s a photo of this guy! I’d love to know if it’s the same one!!!!

    1. Nikki

      This site is all satire, just made up stories about life in the Adventist World.
      I am sorry about your situation, and you may want to consider telling the real police as well, impersonating an officer is serious

  3. Can Officer Holster be put on bathroom patrol this summer at the Soquel Campmeeting? With all the water restrictions in place in California, we need someone like him to time showers and count the number of times the toilets have been flushed. Water rationing is everywhere in California! My vote is for Officer Holder or water cop!

  4. Ah, yes . . . brings back fond memories of similar characters of days gone by. And with a name like Holster, it does seem like the poor chap deserves to have something at his side. No offense to Milla and the California drought, but how about issuing Officer Holster a water pistol? He would just need to remember that water and donuts don’t mix.

  5. Harry Callahan

    Whoever wrote this article will suffer the consequences. Myself, Harry Callahan used to be a security officer and our job was to uphold the law. All of you who haven’t been security officers don’t know what it is like. People don’t like you because of the poor decisions of a couple of other security officers had made in the past. Most security officers are just trying to do their jobs. A few security guards have actually made a difference and stopped wrongful actions occurring on campus. Because we are not allowed to discuss these things with the public, no one knows the good that security is actually doing. Any dimwit with a brain knows that this isn’t true. Laugh it up while you can. The reckoning is coming for you, author.

  6. Joe Friday

    I wanted to be a security guard at Walla Walla University. I thought I had passed the screening, I knew I passed the urinalysis and the physical needed. The day before being indoctrinated in to the force, paperwork came back from the YMCA. I was livid. Years ago I had been through lifeguard training and was relieved of my position for giving a ticket before giving a warning to a 7 year old. It was the second time he had been sited running from the pool to the lavatory. We all know there is no running at the pool and I needed to make an example of him before he started a habit of such gross negligence of the rules. He had a prior record from three different crossing patrols, years earlier. What has happened to the Adventist law!

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