Defunded Campus Security Departments Auction Off Whistles

ADVENTIST WORLD — Freshly-defunded campus security departments at Adventist institutions worldwide are holding a joint whistle auction to inject new life into their budgets. The auction Read more […]

Andrews Seminarian Convinced He Is Predestined For Marriage

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Seasoned Andrews seminarian Amo Reterno, put a brave face on Valentines this year, certain that love was bound to come knocking in time for a pre-graduation engagement. Despite Read more […]

Southern Declares State of Emergency as Marriage Rate Dips

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University has declared a State of Emergency after what administration described as a “troubling drop in marriage rates among our students.” The school’s Read more […]

Trump: Mexico’s University of Montemorelos stealing Adventist students from US

NEW YORK, N.Y. — In a tirade against Mexico’s stealing of US business, President-Elect Donald Trump added that Mexico-based University of Montemorelos was stealing Adventist students from Adventist Read more […]

Southern freshman flying to school must pay for extra bags

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Southern Adventist University freshman Demas Yado arrived at Sacramento International Airport today wondering if she had forgotten to pack anything for school. The aspiring Read more […]