“Persecuted” Adventist really just a jerk


LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Although Bo Ludo has, for years, complained that he is being persecuted for his Adventist faith, a source with (painful) knowledge of his overall situation has confirmed that he really is just a jerk.

“He’s super sanctimonious about everything from his vegetarianism to his preference for pre-21st century Heritage Singers albums,” said co-worker Kay Tristesa who has the misfortune of being the only other Adventist employee at their workplace. “If you don’t agree with him on a lifestyle issue he takes to telling you every day that he is ‘praying for you’ and then sends you Ellen White quotes that are taken completely out of context.”

Tristesa added that Bo had taken the Adventist “Peculiar People” identity far too far and that nobody at work will talk to him because of his incessant lunchtime lectures about the evils of coffee drinking.

To top things off, Tristesa says that Bo insists on inspecting the hands and foreheads of Catholic colleagues for 666 markings.

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  1. Darrel Huenergardt

    If Bo is true to his theological stance he would never have even listened to that radical, liberal, rock and roll group called Heritage Singers. The songs they sing support a secret rapture. His collection of vinyl records would be limited to only those recorded prior to 1950 by the Kings Heralds, and played at 65 rpm to slow down any too fast rhythmnic beat. No albums with drums or guitars included.

  2. richeerich

    Bo is known as a “cultural Adventist”. He goes with the flow. Does not rock the boat. Votes yes on all Church board items. Likes to be palsee walsee with Conference people, etc. I’m sticking to my Little Debbies. They don’t let me down!

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