Adventists believe in the imminent return of Jesus. If you grew up Adventist, you believed Jesus could come at any moment, but like, it was REALLY SOON. Yeah, heaven is going to blow your mind with its beyond-your-comprehension-awesomeness — you can’t wait to wrestle with lions and/or have your own pet panda — but at some point, we bet these secret yearnings crossed your mind.
Ever find yourself in a place where everyone seems to know each other or can name someone you do know within 2 degrees? Do they disappear mysteriously on Friday nights to go to a place called vespers? And do they never seem to drink Coke (at least in public)? Hold on to your hat, Dorothy, because you’re not in Kansas anymore (probably). You may be in an Adventist Bubble.
Thousands of people, some of whom had given away all of their possessions, waited expectantly for Jesus to appear on Oct. 22, 1844. When He didn’t appear, the date became known as the Great Disappointment. But out of the Great Disappointment the seeds of the Seventh-day Adventist Church sprouted. We’re a little late to the celebration (disappointing, we know ::haaaaa::) but in honor of that momentous occasion, we present a list of things that Adventists find disappointing.
Here are a few ways to help you figure out if you’ve wandered into an Adventist church. The #1 tip: If you’re up that early on a Saturday morning to go to church, you are most likely in an Adventist one. Read on for more helpful clues!
Not many people outside of the denomination realize that Adventists come in all flavors and types. We’re rainbow sherbet, not just raspberry sorbet (and yes, maybe we were a little hungry as we wrote this.) But no matter where you fall on the spectrum, everybody is welcome! (Note: There are sure to be more types than the ones presented here. Feel free to suggest more in the comments section.)
At some point(s), we’ve all had to sit through sermons that seemed to last forever. Here, some handy signs that enable you to spot when heavy winds are about to blow so you can sit in the back row and set sail early.
The peculiar people have some interesting ties to some very familiar faces. You might just be surprised at who turns up in this list…
In distress over how to dress in ways Adventist? Wipe thy brow, we’ll show you how. (*Please note: Rules do not apply in Hawaii and certain parts of Southern California, except in churches whose names include an ethnicity and/or Pauline church plant and in congregations where the mean age is 55.)
HOLLAND, Mich. — Adventist luxury home developer, Chuck Todson of Todson Heavenly Homes, has started selling down payments for 7-room mansions in what he is billing “the most exclusive subdivision Read more […]
ORLANDO, Fla. — A band of Florida Hospital-based Adventist centenarians have launched a campaign titled We’re Old Too. The campaign is aimed at convincing National Geographic to feature Read more […]
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