Adventist’s attempts at seducing wife with Song of Solomon end with night on couch

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — An Adventist husband, who declined to be named, expressed disappointment that describing his wife’s teeth as “a flock of shorn sheep” and her breasts as “two baby deer,” Read more […]

OBG – Parents demand tuition refund from Southern for their unmarried kids

Look what we dug up from the archives:) COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Mark and Suzie Robertson, parents of two recent Southern Adventist University graduates, are demanding a full tuition and board Read more […]

Walla Walla recalls single grads for fresh try at college/marriage

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University has issued a recall of all unmarried graduates of the school. Anyone in possession of a Walla Walla graduation diploma is entitled to free tuition Read more […]

Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna to wed at Italian Adventist University

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Star couple Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna have revealed the location of their much-discussed wedding: Italy’s Adventist University, Villa Aurora. The couple reportedly chose Read more […]

Forbes rates Walla Walla most expensive way to get married in America

  NEW YORK, N.Y. — In Forbes Magazine’s annual review of American wedding costs, a four-year-or-more education at Walla Walla University has been rated as the most expensive way to get Read more […]

Michigan Conference bans sex on Sabbath, says it’s work

LANSING, Mich. — Never a conference to shy away from taking a hard line on controversial issues, the Michigan Conference has officially banned sex on Sabbath among its membership. “Not only Read more […]

La Sierra declares war on Southern, adds marriage to graduation requirements

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — “Oh no they didn’t!” were the first words out of Adventist marketing analyst, Val U. Genysis after hearing the news that La Sierra University’s administration has decided Read more […]

Thousands of single Adventists furiously flirting on last GC day

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — With the doors of the ark-like Alamodome about to close for good on the San Antonio General Conference Session, single Adventists are swarming around each other in an all-out Read more […]

Christian intimacy book, “The Adventist Missionary Position,” hits shelves

NAMPA, Idaho — In an attempt to counter secular guides to marriage intimacy, Pacific Press has released “The Adventist Missionary Position.” The publisher bills the book as being “jam-packed Read more […]